We have always been taught that love is one of the primary emotions and states of being that us as humans must achieve.
Greeks have understood that there are different concepts of love. Eight of them in fact.
Eros (sexual passion) - typically reserved for lovers, and what we all know as romantic love.
Philia (deep friendship) - also known as platonic love.
Ludus (playful love) - for crushes. Sometimes known as limerence.
Agape (love for everyone) - including God, which enables people to have a higher sense of belonging to one another.
Pragma (longstanding love) - which is not exclusive to eros alone, but to any partnership that has lasted a long time, and is typical for those that have withstood the test of different challenges throughout life.
Philautia (love of the self) - something that we all know as "self-love".
Storge (family love) - this is vital for those who have familial bonds.
Mania (obsessive love) - in some parts, this may be dangerous, as this may turn into stalking and deadly crimes of passion, but this love is not exclusive to people only. This passion can also be transferred to activities or things that a person may choose to fixate on.
It's kind of weird that we also finally recognize the concept of lack of love, at least in the romantic aspect - and some people call themselves aromantic, in fact.
But what if there is also the lack of love for the other 7 concepts?
Love itself is something that humans are taught to seek because it brings and strengthens bonds towards other people. And whenever we talk about love... we also think that empathy and care must follow.
Is it wrong for people to think that empathy and care towards other people may be separate concepts?
I think it helps foster better abilities for people to separate themselves and compartmentalize their emotions instead of meshing them and creating a convoluted mess, which in turn will create unhealthy attachments.
A person can love, but not care. But a person can also care, but not love.
We can look at examples of abusive parents who claim that they love their children. They might. But they clearly do not care for them, which is why they are labeled abusive - some of them only care for themselves.
Some parents are also great providers and deeply show care and concern for their children... but they are not affectionate nor give proper praise to their children. Some of them even let their children know that they, in fact, regret to have been parents at all.
In terms of the love for self as well.. I think it's detrimental to think that we cannot love ourselves therefore we cannot care for ourselves as well.
There are self-critical people out there who do care for themselves and do not let themselves be stepped on by other people. They have insecurities as big as icebergs.
Then again, there are people who claim that they do love themselves but you can bear witness that they would rather do the complete opposite of the self-critical person.
There are people who are also trapped in long-time loveless partnerships who only stand to care for each other in times of need, but agree on so-called "swinging" since they do not have feelings for each other.
Some friendships, in fact, are built on mutual care as well. They retain their connection to ensure that their friends are well, but are not willing to delve into details as to what their emotional health needs unless necessary, or until they choose to invest in them.
Clearly, however, a person who is obsessed with a person usually has a fixation on an aspect of the alleged "affection". But sometimes the obsession that they portray is out of concern and care, not love. It is still misplaced and most of the time unwanted, however.
In the end we have different strokes in life. Emotions are just that way. As long as the emotions are not going to drive you to do crime or neglect of things, then it should be fine I guess.
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